.

if we've never tasted frustration, anger, pain, hatred, sadness, depression, disappointment, failure, apathy, grief, fear, shame, regret, resentment, anger, hostility before,

we will never be able to appreciate it when we experience freedom, happiness, joy, happiness, excitement, & love.

if u have no limbs for a day, u will get what i mean.

if u're blind for a day. if have no food.

u will learn not to take things for granted. hmm. sometimes we just complain and complain. not knowing how fortunate we are.

Sometimes we take time for granted. we thought we have a lot, but we always regret when it runs out.

we take our youth for granted. not fully utilising our state of body to full use, till we're old, and the joints start to get rusty, and we regret.

we take our parents for granted. most often till it's too late.

We take our friends for granted. we never bother to catch up. we're fake to them. till one day, we're all alone, and we ask, why. never reflecting. never blaming ourselves.

we take our loved ones for granted. we take God for granted. cos they're always there. Cos we know they will always be there.

we look at our bad habits and say, this shall be the last time. we procrastinate till tomorrow. we look at our good habits and say, let's start that tomorrow.

we take ourselves for granted. till we're poisoned by the junk that we put in, till we spoil it beyond repair.

Yes, He's right. No one can replace Me. No once can replace you either. For you are the only person capable of change. You're the only person in charge of yourself.

You can lie to the whole world. But you can't lie to Him. You can't lie to yourself.

This sounds more and more like those emails forwarded by random ppl. well.. this is whati feel now..

And if you have experienced all the negative and positive emotions from the same person, you know that that person has the power to influence yr emotions.

When you know you have such a power, do not misuse it.

Great power brings great responsibility.

Think u cant handle it ?

God doesn't choose the qualified. He qualifies the chosen.

Who forced me to write such a crappy blog ? Gary. Ask him how. Myonlygary.spaces.live.com

cheers
why do i still blog when nobody listens.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, a Noble Prize winner for literature, wrote this to his friends before he died of terminal cancer.

If God, for a second, forgot what I have become

and granted me a little bit more of life,

I would use it to the best of my ability.

I wouldn't, possibly, say everything that is in my mind,

but I would be more thoughtful of all I say.

I would give merit to things not for what they are worth,

but for what they mean to express.

I would sleep little, I would dream more,

because I know that for every minute that we close our eyes,

we waste 60 seconds of light.

I would walk while others stop;

I would awake while others sleep.

If God would give me a little bit more of life,

I would dress in a simple manner,

I would place myself in front of the sun,

leaving not only my body, but my soul naked at its mercy.

To all men, I would say how mistaken they are

when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old,

without knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love.

I would give wings to children, but I would leave it to them

to learn how to fly by themselves.

To old people, I would say that death doesn't arrive when they grow old,

but with forgetfulness.

I have learned so much with you all,

I have learned that everybody wants to live on top of the mountain,

without knowing that true happiness is obtained in the journey taken

and the form used to reach the top of the hill.

I have learned that when a newborn baby holds, with its little hand,

his father's finger, it has trapped him for the rest of his life.

I have learned that a man has the right and obligation to look down at another man, only when that man needs help to get up from the ground.

Say always what you feel, not what you think.

If I knew that today is the last time that that I am going to see you asleep,

I would hug you with all my strength

and I would pray to the Lord to let me be the guardian angel of your soul.

If I knew that these are the last moments to see you, I would say 'I love you'.

There is always tomorrow, and life gives us another opportunity to do things right, but in case I am wrong, and today is all that is left to me, I would love to tell you how much I love you and that I will never forget you.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young or old.

Today could be the last time to see your loved ones,

which is why you mustn't wait; do it today, in case tomorrow never arrives.

I am sure you will be sorry you wasted the opportunity today to give a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you were too busy to grant them their last wish.

Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in their ears

and to their faces how much you need them and love them.

Love them and treat them well; take your time to tell them 'I am sorry", '' forgive me", "please", "thank you", and all those loving words you know.

Nobody will know you for your secret thought.

Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength to express them.

Show your friends and loved ones how important they are to you.

Send this letter to those you love.

If you don't do it today...tomorrow will be like yesterday,and if you never do it, it doesn't matter either, the moment to do it is now.

i deeply regret it.

*God of wine  -  third eye blind

8 am now. going to bathe.
must reach the internal bus stop at 8.45, so that can catch the 9 am bus, then connects to 151 at YIH. then will reach adam at 9.45.

Church is from 10-12.

then going to take 855 down to yishun. then transfer to 965, to Sengkang. After that take LRT to tongkang. meeting the band for lunch at 1.50.

i think if i leave at 12, i'll reach at about 1. it's fine. i cn surf the net at sengkang for a while. I got my laptop & everything with me.

jamming starts at 3 i think, at drummer's house at Tongkang. NEver been there before. It's been a while since i go to a part of singapore which i have never been before.

Tonight going back woodlands. 3 objectives. First and foremost, getting back my ring. Cos i removed it from my finger when i was bathing last week. had been uncomfortable since. realised it when the others were sharing the bible with me during cell, and i freaked out. Today, going back to retrieve it.

F1 SIngapore is today. Going back to watch with Clement.

And after that, updating heartbuzz. Promised them they will be able to see the update by tomorrow.

Hopefully this week, everything goes well. The test. SMG.

Other modules - gotta start reading the notes.

Finance -  still have one chapter to go. short one.

Mid term >>Thursday, 2 October 2008 from 8pm to 9.30pm   25%.

already screwed up 1 of the 3 quizzes.  each quiz is 5%.

Supply chain management > gotta do homework

Wrote this note to remind myself of the consequence. ha. God bless post-its. Well, the story is that a 3M employee discovered post it by mistake, and brought it to church. to tag his/her bible.

For ppl like me, who need constant reminders, praise the Lord for creating this incredible invention.

I wish you well. It's aching. Yes. To watch u this way. Feel like ripping my heart out so that i can feel no more. I hope u fight it. Stop the damage.Slowly.

Sigh. Dear God. Come on. Bless her. She's a good soul. Don't punish her for her past acts.

feel like u've typed something but u dun really want to post it.sigh.Would like to start this entry knowing that this moment, too, shall come to pass. I am surprised that I actually have the freaking time to type this. Arrows from all directions. All pointing towards me. saying that i am a jerk. saying that I am a convict. That i don't know this. i don't know that.

That i am impatient. that i am unkind. That i don't know how to handle situations. That i don't respect them. that i am not good enough. That i wil never gain respect again because of what i have done.

Suddenly I understand why the government is so stressed. Because every move they make, is beyond return, and people judge them by that. Now i know why ex-convicts have such a hard time finding jobs. Now i know.

Forgiving is an act. It's a deliberate act. You might not feel like it at that moment, but it's a decision to forgive the other person, because of love, etc. Well, Feelings will heal in time. But forgiveness is only meaningful if it's given at the moment. Cos to err is human. To forgive, divine.

It's so easy to just say i give up.

The story : 6 years ago, when our mentor asked SGEventors our personal key motivation to do business, I wrote down something in a piece of paper. I want to be famous. I want to leave behind a legacy. But nobody told me how. Or even whether I can make it or not.

For me, money is not really that important. Because I believe if you do what you love, when you have the passion, when your ultimate goal is to leave behind a legacy, i am sure the money will follow.

Now i have found what i believe to be my next stepping stone. Thank God.

> A lasting legacy reflects conviction. A conviction so strong that you believe with all our heart and soul. You breathe it. You sleep on it. You dream about it. You are not afraid to tell everyone what you believe. You will find strength in that.

How many of us actually believe in what we do. Sometimes buries deep in our hearts, lies a little doubt. When you're convicted, you clear all doubts. You have God's permission, and you go all out. Without looking back. Conviction leads to dedication.

> A lasting legacy requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is an intentional act of will. It requires us to grit out teeth. Nobody says it's going to be easy. Goes back to the story of the widow who dropped 2 copper coins, and Jesus commented that she has given MORE than all the others. Why? Because she has given out of her poverty. And not from her abundance. This is sacrifice.

My mum has sacrificed 20 years of her life for me. This is sacrifice. She shall leave behind a legacy. Day by day, deep inside her, she just have faith that I will grow up being successful. Call it blind faith, but she just plow all her time in me. Sacrificing everything for me.

> A lasting legacy doesn't happen by chance. It's a decision. An active one which we tell ourselves, yes, i am going to do it. If I don't, nobody will. Nobody else can fill the shoes of me in my life. Nobody can play a better boyfriend. No one is going to be my substitute in talking to my mum. Nobody will take the exams for me. No one else. And this doesn't happen by chance. We've been created for a reason. Nobody was created by chance. He created the Heaven and Earth. And he was meticulous enough to create each and everyone of us. With each of us different and unique from the rest. To serve a purpose in life.

A lasting legacy reveals faith. To have faith is to believe what you can't see. It's difficult, isn't it. These days, we are the 'visual' persons. We have to see it to believe. Well, my family has been exactly that. There's no faith. We're cynical. Most of us judge by our visual spectacles. and not with our hearts. There's no one to blame. The world has shaped itself in such a manner. I promised myself, that my children shall grow up having faith. No matter whether they're intelligent or otherwise, whether they will do well, or not, the least they can have, is to have faith. That the world is not such a cynical and sick place. That's there's good people in it.

Faith changes everything. Whether you succeed or not depends on how much faith you have in yourself. Whether your marriage succeed or not depends on whether you have faith in her or not. Whether you live your life meaningfully depends on whether you have faith in God or not. Whether you have faith that He will only do what is necessary for your good.

Some people naturally have faith. Groomed by the environment, friends or perhaps their parents. They're called optimists. Depending on the reason you believe that something good is going to happen instead of the opposite, you belong to a different group. For example, some of us believe that God has a great plan for us. Therefore whatever that happens or shall happen would be good. A friend of mine takes life with a pinch of salt. He looks at the sky falling as a matter of fact. Relag la is his favourite phrase.

Faith is the perhaps most powerful yet invisible thing. Next comes trust. Till the next blog entry.

> A lasting legacy releases Blessings.

"In order to be leaders, we have to continually prove ourselves,
to always strive for excellence in everything we do because
people will be watching us wherever we go, whatever we do. "

tbc

When we're stressed, when we're pressed for time, that's when we need the people who love us most around us. Don't deny yourself the encouragement and motivation which they want to shower you with. Don't forget that they want to make your life better.

Know that they want you to know that they love you.

WHen you think you have no time, just spare a minute to stop, think of what you have at hand, and smile. And thank god that you have time to do whatever necessary NOW. ok?

When you're pressured, that's when u need our love most.

Gambatte.

n we decided that we must love each other more. with all our hearts.

good job skype n twitter. we love you.

so what if we have the power to communicate. do we want to ? do we have the desire to?

Good night crazy world.

Sick of everything.

Dear God,

Give me the strength to listen to the grunts and nagging of my mum.

Cos she's controlled by the Devil. Saying hurtful things to hurt me.

ARGH. Damn it.

Sincerely,

Alex

As the train passes it by, my eyes instinctively searched for the block at the back, looked for the 12th floor, and there, i could easily see that the living room, the study room and the master bed room, were all lit up. Squeezed between two china man at the entrance of the MRT door, i pressed my head against the glass and caught that moment. I am going home today.

The vicinity was guarded by 2 security guards whose jobs include constantly opening the side gate electronically for anyone who stepped in front of it. Once you step into the compound, the chlorine from the swimming pools gushed into my nose together with my deep breath, after my sigh of relieve that I finally am home.

This is the home which I have been spending 3 years in, when I was still back in Poly then. That was when the kids were still babies, and oh so innocent. Just now Geoyi just said " can i play psp ? "  " NO."  " Oh i very sad already "  -_-  kids nowadays learn fast.

It's funny how we always say that we are busy, and we choose to neglect our families. We choose to deny the appointment which was set by our long lost friends. Just because we feel that we think that we have nothing to talk about.

I have went through my semester, actively shaking new friends' hands, learning more about their lives. Opening my ears to listen to their interesting stories. Stories about their jobs which I can never imagine myself in ( at least in this life ), stories about their siblings ( again, none in this life ), and also their girlfriends. The i-am-special feeling will abruptly end and I will feel that I am another mortal, trying to make sense of this life.

I want to end this NUS journey with a bang. I want to create new friends. Soulmates. I am sick and tired of pretending that I am actually listening to them, but i was not. I want to make an impact in their lives. Just like I always asked myself last time " whose heart(s) have you touched today? "

I am sick of entering cold classes where I don't know a soul, and feel that they're cocky and so full of themselves. I think there's no shame in breaking the ice, in saying the first hello, in asking for their name. I never encounter anyone with a cold face, whom after I said hello, never return a smile at me, other than myself, last time.

Let's not contribute anymore to this cold cold world.

Hello, world. I love you.

Charlene, i love you more. Don't worry.